Saturday, February 12, 2011

V.D. - No, not that - Valentines Day.


My parents, my happily married friends who have or are tying to have kids - you all inspire me. I know it's not easy to choose that special someone to annoy for the rest of your life - I know you can never be certain what life holds and that their are no guarantees. I am so, so happy for you all. If you would mind not posting what they love of your life gave you this V.D. - it would lessen the blow for us single folks who continue to search (or have given up completely). Thanks ever so much. For all the single ladies, the images below are my valentine for you.









Monday, January 17, 2011

28 reasons I miss hearting New York


One very long month ago I left a city I love to return to the country I came from. I am happy to be back in the best country in the world but I miss hearting the city that never sleeps...

1. Taxi horns and dumpster trucks have been replaced by a local rooster, a bunch of Tui's and other noisy critters (no, I am not staying on a farm).

2. Fuck is no longer an acceptable short sentence.

3. Road trip is no longer defined by a trip to Ikea but an 8 hour drive with my parents from Wellington to Auckland.

4. I am yet to find any naked people running around my local park.

5. My neighbours keep trying to interact with me and I don't know what to do.

6. Everyone in New York knows Sex in the City is a croc.

7. Smoking is socially acceptable.

8. Bars are open until 4.

9. There is such a thing as a free drink.

10. Jews.

11. I can no longer give tourists the wrong directions.

12. People can actually tell if you are on a walk of shame.

13. Real Bagels.

14. Bodega bacon, egg and cheese on a roll at 4 in the morning.

15. $300 sushi.

16. Taxi cab confessions.

17. Cell phone reception and prices.

18. Stealing wi-fi.

19. Hulu.

20. Netflix.

21. I can no longer give random people the finger (I never did this, but it was available and acceptable if I had the balls to).

22. Paying someone to do my laundry.

23. Buskers on the Subway who can actually carry a tune.

24. The Subway.

25. Pre-war 5 story walk-up's were my exercise.

26. Because no matter how crazy you are - you will run into someone crazier (usually within 5 minutes).

27. True blue hipsters (while annoying, also very entertaining) have been replaced by mullets.

28. Because very few people are 'from' New York and there is an unspoken understanding that everyone is just trying to survive the rat race, not hop on the subway car with the smelly homeless person and to reach their next New York moment.